Bad Writing
john posted in other on July 21st, 2005
Add a chunk of bad writing.
Posted by John:
LA Times: Critic Erika Schickel, Dec 9, 2006
FORTY-FOUR years after her death, Marilyn Monroe continues to be a victim of her own bosom. Here is her sad story, reissued once again,
…
Of all the many lovely photos, the cover portrait is the most telling. Monroe is perched on a stool, leaning toward the camera. Her crossed legs are in the foreground, a shapely arrow pointing to the photograph’s focal point: her milky white bosom. Her breasts spill out of a low-cut green vest; all that obscures her nipples is a whisper of tulle — ruched in such a way as to make us look closer. Only after we have feasted on her décolletage do our eyes wander to Monroe’s pretty face. Her head is tilted back and she wears an expression of surprising sagacity. As semiotics, it’s a perfect photo, capturing the tension, intrigue and tragedy of Monroe’s persona and the sad fact that despite her talent, her intelligence and her extraordinary luck, both good and bad, all anybody really wanted to do was stare at her chest.
…
At one point in “My Story,” a careless lover accuses Monroe of crying too easily. “That’s because your mind isn’t developed. Compared to your breasts it’s embryonic. You never think about life. You just float through it on that pair of water wings you wear.” He was wrong about that. Her breasts were her life preserver, keeping her afloat in choppy seas, but too insubstantial to build a fully realized life on.
Semiotics, breasts, life preservers, arch wistfulness, and more breasts, what more can you want?
Pulitzer-prize winner Dan Neil. LA Times
You would think, given the Ferrari F430 Spider’s unearthly good looks — its sheet metal like a fierce, turbulent flow of molten lipstick — that the car would primarily be a visual experience. And yet, as I sit here reflecting on my week in this car, my brain trembling with San Andreas-like aftershocks and my hair fully locked in the horizontal position, what I remember most is its sound — or sounds. This thing has more voices than Linda Blair in full antichrist mode.
Dan, where to begin? Utter lack of logic, disconnected adjectives, too much you, stupid pop-culture reference, failure to connect with the car-ness of the car. Points given for enthusiasm, and the lipstick. I think molten lipstick is brown grease, but who knows for sure? How many plaid suits in your closet, dude?
Later on I liked the waterhole idea buried inside this fiasco:
The product of what is purely the most sophisticated piece of reciprocating machinery on the road, this sound is dark and primitive and triggers fight-or-flight bells in those who hear it. Tease the 8,500-rpm redline and for blocks around alfresco diners raise their heads in unison, like African meerkats around a watering hole when one picks up the scent of hyena.
It’s zebras or elands and lions at the waterhole, and no Ferrari engine outside F1, is the most sophisticated anything. But I liked the alfresco diners. Nice bit of Westside LA.
From Matt:
press releases never finished dept.
To an ear-deafening cry of joy being sung by musicians, recording
enthusiasts and Apple users everywhere, EDIROL has proudly introduced…
Posted by John:
Yet Another new Lifestyle Biz:
It’s obviously performance-driven, but it’s lifestyle driven too,” he said of the company that will make exhaust systems for sport bikes. “All the exhaust systems on the market right now are race-oriented and performance-driven, which is great, but it’s also fairly easy to achieve. I think everyone’s in kind of the same performance category. We’re going to be in the same performance category too, but we’re going to be different by the feel and the look. That, I’m really looking forward to. It’s a neat project. I’m getting a huge education on everything right now. We’re really excited to get things going and hopefully get some apparel that matches the lifestyle of the company.
Posted by John:
Searching for a lead, any lead dept.
From an email by motorcycle.com quoted verbatim.
Italians are renown for their enviousness in romantic issues.
Well, seems like the tradition extends to bikes matters too.
Envious of BMW’s K1200R ESA system for suspension regulation
on the fly, Aprilia just had to come up with a system of their
own. It’s only that in the Tuono R’s case the system doesn’t
rely on pushbutton electronics gadgetry. By twisting a black
rubber grip at the handlebar’s right end you can regulate
front-end height in a range of zero to about 3-4 feet in the
first three gears…
Posted by John:
Let us humbly remember that we sometimes write this way too.
from http://www.kemplar.com/panasonic_w4.php
Whenever Panasonic rises to the occasion and throws its hat into the ring of the sub-notebook world, we are always pleasantly surprised. The Panasonic Let’s Note W4 is yet another example of Panasonic going above and beyond our expectations. Not satisfied with simpy releasing one of the most durable subnotebooks ever, Panasonic has created a unit capable of resisting up to 110 lbs. of weight*!
Amusing Corporate Blather:
from kriss.com
Count on Kriss to design a motorcycle driving light system that sets us apart from all others. We’ve redefined “Unique”, incorporating software programs, features and quality that have become the foundation for today’s serious rider.
More Amusing Corporate Blather:
from rubbercal
We Believe in Living Brands.
Products that evolve, conform, & grow with the needs and requirements of our clientele.Brands with a developing sense of identity.
Clumsy Motorcycle Writing:
Too easy, this target. From motorcycle.com
In the case of the Griso, pictures aren’t necessarily worth a thousand words. It’s not until you witness the bike in the flesh that the exhaust truly announces its girthy presence. With a very unique end-cap it seems as though a large blast of flame could exit, making problems for any auto getting within firing distance. Ah… we can dream can’t we? Lastly, it isn’t until you’re seated that you’re nearly slapped in the face with what must be the largest gas cap on any bike made today. Instantly, I thought I heard it say, “Look-a me! I make-a nice-a pizza!”
Bizarre Blogging:
From the local weekly Santa Barbara Independent
Jarring disbelief infused the air on Friday, as volunteer passersby lined up downtown to have their heads shaved for peace and onlookers watched the hairs fly and physical appearances change before their eyes….
Some Poor Academic:
from an alumni invitation… name withheld out of pity.
Bodies of Desire, Bodies of Lament: Marking Emotion in a Messenger Poem of Medieval South India
Come hear how a Hindu god in medieval South India, struck dumb by love-madness and longing for his absent beloved, catches sight of a royal goose, in whom he sees vivid reflections of the white body of his lover — her red lips, red hands and feet, her swaying gait — and, as if it could understand what he is saying, asks it to deliver a message to her, carrying his words of love down the length of India to the island of Sri Lanka.
My talk focuses on the charged emotional landscapes of human, animal, and divine bodies in one of the finest sandesa-kavyas or “messenger poems” of medieval South India, Venkatesa’s Hamsasandesa or “The Goose Messenger.” Venkatesa’s sandesa not only valorizes sacred landscapes, marking holy rivers, mountains, and shrines, but also eloquently marks emotional landscapes, the powers of erotic love and the turbulence of desire onto the bodies of lover and beloved, and also onto the body of the messenger, in this case a royal goose. I will explore ways in which Venkatesa refashions the story of Rama, the Hindu God-King, and his wife, Sita, a form of the goddess Lakshmi, using motifs of love-in-separation, vulnerability, loss, lament, and violent emotion that inhere in his South Indian devotional tradition, along with a vision of union and time regained that generates auspiciousness, blessing and well-being (shreyas).