jawfish

School Rules
john posted in politics & culture on May 18th, 2005

Lets make some more rules and, well, rule!

Maybe just maybe, secondary schools really do mold children and introduce them to our civic world. Well then, what do schools mostly do?

They make rules. They live by rules. They are enmeshed in a fibroid tumor of rules. When three or four schools out of 20,000 or so have horrific shootings, they make zero-tolerance rules about verbal threats. When prescription drugs are abused, they make rules about tylenol and decongestants. When a parent complains they make rules into zero tolerance rules.

Just in: the California legislature has adopted a rule to limit school text books to 200 pages. Presumably because they are too heavy. Or maybe just skool-lite prevails. ( my kids are in an upscale district which maintains an extra set of books for classroom use, so the kids don’t have to tote them all the time. Its true the backpacks are still heavy.)

Not too long ago I dropped in to ask the high school administrator some everyday question which I forget now.
I was told, “You have to come back during Nutrition.”
- “But she’s sitting right there” (next office, and in view)
- “You have to come back during Nutrition. She only handles it during Nutrition”
- “I am not a student, whats Nutrition?” ( my hair is gray, and I don’t have any nose rings or tattoos)
- “Tomorrow between eleven and eleven-fifteen” ( at this point leaving was better than yelling: a good rule)

What do parents do? Besides feed, clothe, and house hungry, sleepy, backpack-burdened teenagers, we make rules too. You can’t watch the movie until your homework’s done. You have to go to church until you are confirmed. You have to follow the rules at school. All this at a time when the most Stalinist social group in the world, teenagers, is busy enforcing its rules - you can’t wear shorts above the knee; you can’t be too smart; you can’t be too cool; you can’t be too thin.

So when teachers are underpaid, what does the teacher’s union do? It makes rules about when you can fire teachers. When three nuts complain to the school board, it makes rules about leaving time for nuts to complain.

This would all be worth an ironic, things-never-change chuckle, until the legislature, Congress, and Lord forgive us, the Prez get involved. Neo-cons and liberals have their revenge- they love to make rules about school. They want to just say no to drugs, and just say yes to Jesus, send every kid to college, bus kids across town, and most of all they want to punish teachers and schools whose students don’t do better on standardized tests each year.

Last of all what do standardized tests test?
Rules.

So when the cop pulls you out of a line of 100 cars going the same speed for a ticket…. its the rules.
When you are at the head of the line and they make you start over in another….. its the rules.
When you need to ask your doctor-of-the-week at the HMO a question, you have to come in next month…its the rules.
If you think this is toxic hogwash and you want to make a pungent comment, but you have to submit it first….its the rules.

So what do we really learn in school? Rules are great when you get away with something; rules are unfair when you get caught. Rules are best when you are in charge.

So maybe we shouldn’t be surprised when lawyers will do anything to win. When corporate officers gut the company’s assets and rip-off shareholders and customers, when pampered media stars disintegrate. Most of all, we should expect politicians to fold, spindle and mutlilate their way to power. They are all tired of being hemmed in by the rules.